Tzniut: Restrictive or Liberating?

Liberation Through Restriction: Why tzniut empowers women and teens. 

As I watch the yeshiva girls walk out the school doors at the end of the day, all dressed so similarly in long denim skirts and long sleeve shirts, I feel proud that we insist that each one  grow up to become a truly individual and liberated woman.  
Dressing according to the laws of tzniut ensures that they focus on their own personal achievements, talents, and unique gifts of personality and character. 
Anyone can copy the “Look” that society calls perfect and beautiful and lose one’s true self along the way. 
I enjoyed this article: A Modest Proposal: How Tzniut Liberates and Enriches, on OU.org by Dr. Chana Sosevsky, a teacher at Michlala and Machon Gold, and resident director of Touro College Israel Option. Show it to others, and especially your daughters.  Modesty is not restrictive, conformity is. Liberation is about how we see ourselves. 

Sosevsky begins the article thus: A sad and poignant commentary on the state of society today is the popularity and acclaim of two books regarding the sexualization of society and the objectification of women. In Reviving Ophelia, a study about the growing emotional problems of adolescent girls today, psychologist Mary Pipher decries the threat to our youngsters based on the spread of what she terms “lookism,” the evaluation of a person on the basis of appearance. Pipher describes how in many American communities, girls are pressured to wear designer clothes, have straight white teeth, beautiful hair and fit into a size four. Then they read teenage magazines which tell them, “Don’t worry about feeling good or being good, worry about looking good”. Pipher mourns that “adolescence is when girls experience social pressure to put aside their authentic selves and to display only a small portion of their gifts” 

In her article, Dr. Sosevsky argues that: Tzniut is meant to de-emphasize the physical in order to allow the intellectual and spiritual aspects of oneself to shine through. Once women understand this, tzniut becomes a tool and an advantage, rather than a restrictive element in their lives.

She goes on to say: The famous injunction of the Sefer Hachinuch, “Acharei hamaasim nimshachim halevavot” (our hearts are influenced by our actions) is particularly relevant[....] [A woman or man] who dresses appropriately usually acts appropriately.  I've often heard my students say that when they used to conform to the dress codes of their religious high schools, they felt restricted; [...] they felt compelled to act less free [...] Indeed, such dress codes give young women a more authentic freedom: the freedom to focus on their spiritual  rather than their superficial selves.

In addition, she writes: The halachah is designed to make the world relate to a woman as a person and not as a female. The laws regarding length of skirts and sleeves, etc. are a set of guidelines which limit the exposure of woman’s body, and should serve as a reminder to her as to how to comport herself with dignity.

Perhaps the most important note to take from this article is the following:

"Women who see tzniut as an injunction to cover up and hide themselves miss the point entirely."

You can read the whole article here

Share your response on Kosher Fashions blog or on our Facebook page, we want to know how you feel. 

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Post by Kosher Fashions.

Cool Modest Clothing for a Hot Yom Tov

As I sat in Shul on Rosh Hashana, my eyes surveyed the women’s section to see what everyone was wearing.  What a disappointment!  I needed inspiration for my new Fall lineup but nearly everyone was still wearing their Summer clothes!  

I know that Summer lasts longer in Florida, Texas, California, etc., but this year the Jewish Holiday Season came so early it was still Summer up North!. 

Back when I lived in New York, I remember there were times when a Fall or Winter suit wasn't even warm enough for Succoth and Simchat Torah.  At night we sat in the Succah with coats on, and with our fan heaters blowing hot air on our ankles. 

Rosh Hashana was the time for ladies to show off their new Fall and Winter wardrobes. Labor Day was over and done, white no longer permitted, time for the warmer, darker tones to come out. 

I soooo wanted to see all the new Fall dresses and hats in preview and, alas, most ladies at shul were unwilling to compromise comfort for the "post Labor Day” seasonal wardrobe change. 

(To be honest, I wore a cream colored Fall suit the first day but switched back to my Summer clothes by the second.) 

Just as I was thinking about switching all of my merchandise to Fall/Winter I realized that maybe it is still too early.  After all, lightweight dresses and separates that are also tznius are not so easy to come by.  I guess we can’t just go by the calendar because women seem to be taking advantage of the hot weather and the fantastic sales to get something “new”.  

This trend can be seen across the board in many stores.  Some Fall items are in, but there are some great deals to be had on Summer clothing that is still in abundance. 

My suggestion is to stock up now on clearance items that you can wear now, and then layer when the weather gets a little cooler, and you will still enjoy as soon as the weather warms up again in early Spring. 

What was that again about global warming?  What did you wear for Yom Tov?  What will you wear, in white, for Yom Kippur?  What will you be wearing for Succoth? 

How will you stay comfortable, yet modestly clad, while sitting in your succah this Yom Tov? 

Check out our clearance and pick up some great items at below wholesale prices.  Oh, and look at some of the new Fall/Winter items I've started to showcase for those of you who can’t wait for things to cool off a bit. 

The Personal Shopper Experience

Have you ever had the luxury of using a personal shopper? Most high end stores will provide this service, and all the large department stores have the personal shopping experience available. There are many benefits to this service.

KosherFashions.com is now offering this service to women and girls in South Florida. For an appointment contact Rhea at (561) 715 3115. KosherFashions.com has tasteful, modest and quality clothing at prices that will make you smile.

In department stores you describe what you are looking for, or the event you are shopping for, or what piece of clothing you want to replace, and the personal shopper will go from rack to rack, pulling out suitable items of clothing. They will be in your size - the well trained personal shopper can guess your correct size by a quick glance - and they should be flattering to your shape.
Some stores charge for the experience, others simply reward the sales consultant with a percentage of what she succeeds in selling you. But either way, it's a great experience for the shopper, because just this once, you have your own stylist! Many women will tell you that they would never have purchased "this dress" if someone else hadn't pulled it out and had them try it on.

The problem with shopping at department stores or the mall, is the arduous process of elimination! With KosherFashions.com we promise to help you develop your own personal image and style without overwhelming you with non-tznius items. Don't look like everyone else! Privacy and discretion are guaranteed, the hours are those that work best for you, with someone devoted only to helping you find the perfect clothes.

Few women will veer away from their day to day style and try something new on. However, if someone else suggests trying something on, most women will at least try. And many will be surprised at how something different can look awesome.

Imagine a local, small retailer wanted to offer "by appointment only" hours, at times to suit women from all walks of life - working women, stay at home mothers, retirees etc. You make the phone call, give a little information over the phone about what you are looking for, the size you generally wear. Arrange a time to shop, and bring a friend for good measure. You have one to one service. Someone who is ready to help you find the perfect outfit. Whether for a bar-mitzvah, or a graduation, a holiday or a new job - the personal shopper is yours for the hour. Now you have that, on your doorstep. The High Holydays are coming - don't wait any longer. Pick up the phone and call Rhea at (561) 715 3115 and make your appointment today! For more information you can also email: kosherfashions@gmail.com or rhea@kosherfashions.com

Out of the darkness, into the light

During the period of the nine days (from Rosh Chodesh Av until the fast of Tisha b'Av) it is the custom not to purchase new clothing, nor to wear new clothing that has not previously been worn. Many also have the custom not to launder clothes, or to wear laundered clothes. As we go through this introspective time, we should let go of what does not serve us well, and create space for new, wonderful amd useful things to come our way. We evaluate our behavior towards our fellow man, and also our relationship with Hashem and our midot. It's a great time for taking on another chumrah (stringency), something to strengthen your faith. For some, that may be dressing in a more appropriate manner. Taking pains perhaps, to only wear shirts with elbow length sleeves, or to always cover one's knees. This is a good time for us to go through our closets, and remove those items of clothing that no longer belong.

Let's face it, certain aspects of the 80s just shouldn't make a comeback...
Image courtesy of  http://80soutfit.com/

It is never easy to physically get rid of things. Whether it is the junk in the garage that might be useful again one day, or the clothes in our closet that haven't been worn in a long time, it's a process, and it requires determination and commitment. But the end result is similar to that feeling after the fast - you feel cleansed, detoxed and ready to start again (alright, maybe not immediately after the fast, but once you've had something to eat and drink). So use this time of year to cleanse your closet, ready to start fresh after Tisha b'Av.

Let's walk through the process together and keep it simple. Start by choosing one section of your closet. Shirts. Remove all your shirts and put them on your bed. If you haven't worn a shirt for a year or more, give it away.
If it has a stain that will not budge, give it away. If it's a shirt you purchased on impulse, but have nothing to wear it with, put it in a secondary pile - to be decided later. Once you have your piles of "keep", "giveaway", and "tbd", return the "keep" items to your closet, and move on to the next section - skirts. Work the same way, removing those that have not been worn for a long time, or that no longer fit, are ripped, are stained etc. Add to your existing piles. Perhaps you'll find a skirt you forgot about it that matches that impulse-buy shirt! Perhaps not... Are there skirts that are too short? Skirts that sit too low on the hips, revealing your belly button and you have no matching top that hangs long enough? Give it away!
On and on you go, and soon, your closet will not only be neat and organized, but it will contain only the clothing that you actually wear. Don't forget to go through socks and underwear while you're at it. And shoes! (Don't worry, now you'll have an excuse to buy more shoes!)

Now look at the clothes that remain. They should all fit with your style, they should make you feel good, they should make you feel dressed appropriately. So now you have all this extra space in the closet, it's time to go shopping baby! And come on, we all need a little retain therapy once in a while, especially after the nine days when we are forbidden from buying new clothes...

Available at Kosher Fashions website

Kosher Fashions is pleased to inform you that we have a post-Tisha b'Av sale beginning on July 17. Stay tuned, and bookmark the Kosher Fashions webstore. Everything must go!